chimptron.com

If anyone can look back and say they had a great year, it’s surely Gordon Brown. The British premier has single handed transformed Britain from a financial and cultural world leader into the kind of country socialists can be proud to live in. No longer need working class murderers fear the long arm of the law. No longer can hard working people flaunt their wealth in the face of those excluded from the workforce. No longer can the bourgeois go on foreign holidays and expect their pound filled wallets to meet with anything but laughter.

All we can say is “Thank you, Gordon!”

Last year Gordon teased us with the election that never was. This year he showed us why a man with his leadership skills doesn’t need the formality of a democratic mandate to weave his magic. Why send the people out in the rain to vote for you when they so clearly love you?

Ever the financial mastermind, Brown’s masterstroke has been to borrow during the most debt ridden period in the nation’s history. An injection of cash will hopefully keep the economy superficially functional - at least until next year’s election. By the time Britian’s economy shrinks to the size of a third world country, Gordon will have been elected for another four years. With this man at the helm we are surely in safe hands.

To celebrate Gordon’s achievements, we have composed a song that all his many supporters can sing:

Thank the world for Gordon Brown,
Though the pound is going down,
He’ll make jobs all over town,
Thank you Gordon!

What a leader we have picked,
Things are great if you get nicked,
Hardly any charges stick,
Well done Gordon!

Though we’d love the chance to vote,
He knows all the things we don’t,
Us mere mortals can but gloat,
We’ve got Gordon!